Real Life Transforms Art

It's early for Mother's Day celebrations, but the holiday has me thinking of how many heroines I write as mothers. I've studied how that role influences their lives, and how my mom, my mother-in-law, and being a mother myself has changed my writing.

I know it has. Being a mom has made me a better person all-around, so I know I'm more sensitive, patient, and understanding. (You should have seen me before kids!) That's reflected in my heroines. They deal with life with a sense of humor, probably because I do. They delight in their children because I delight in mine. They are protective while seeing their kids' flaws. I'd say ditto, except my kids don't have flaws. [See previous note about a sense of humor getting one through life.]

When I look at my mom and mother-in-law, even my friends, family or strangers, and observe how they mother their children, I learn. Note I use "mother" as a verb. It is. "Parent" is also. I don't mean either word to substitute for "discipline," although that's part of it. A huge part. But again, I don't use discipline to mean "punish." It means teach, control. That's what parents do. Or should. I'm not getting into that here. I reveal my frustrations in my work. The next time some minor character is a horrible parent, I'm drawing on real-life observations. The kid who badgers his mom about buying him a sucker, despite her constant no, no, no answers--then gets the sucker when she's worn down? Yeah, he's in my book. He probably will grow up to be the villain. Or have a kid like that of his own.

 Back to the good moms.  They're not perfect, not in real life and not in my fiction. But they try their best and love with boundless depths of feeling. Self-sacrifice, not martyrdom, runs deep in some stories. I like to push the characters to see what they'll do. And every time, the moms come through.

So, thanks to my mom for giving me such a great role model. Ditto to my mother-in-law, my friends, family and those strangers who do the right thing. Our world is a better place because of those women who know "mother" is also a verb.

Megan

Megan Kelly
www.megankellybooks.com

A shout out for Step-moms and Mothers-in-law

On this Mother’s Day Eve, I wanted to take a moment to praise some mothers who don’t always get a fair shake. We’ve all heard the jokes and horror stories about wicked stepmothers and evil mothers-in-law, but most of the women I know who fill these roles are good gals who try hard to do the right thing.
In my own case, I’m blessed with a wonderful mother-in-law. Loretta Myers has been a friend to me for over 28 years. She’s fun, funny, and always supportive.
As for step-moms, my hat is off to these women who walk a tight-rope between their children’s birth mom and their new husbands. It’s tough to find the right balance, I’m sure.
I hadn’t really considered the step-mother question much until I wrote the Superromance book that’s coming out next month, A Soldier Comes Home. My heroine, Chrissie, falls in love with a man who’s just returned from Iraq. Ray’s wife left while he was oversees and he has sole custody of a three-year old. Chrissie loves Ray and his little boy, but she wonders if she has what it takes to be a step-mom. Writing the book really made me think about everything that goes into being a good step-mom
To all step-moms, moms, grandmoms, mothers-in-law and friends of moms – I salute you and wish you a very happy mother’s day.
Now it’s your turn – do you have a woman in your life – your mom or someone else – who has been special to you. Let’s hear her story.