Hopes, Dreams and Wedding Things

From the moment my son was born—even before if I were honest—I’ve dreamed of a better life for him. Although my own life is admittedly good, I wanted him to be healthier, more at peace with himself and others, get a higher education, achieve success earlier or, in short, have a better future than the one I’ve carved out for myself.

By and large, he’s fulfilled those dreams, along with a few of his own. He combined both our goals by playing baseball all the way through college, managing to graduate with honors. He landed a terrific job, sprang up the ladder into management, bought a wonderful house. Last week, to the applause of our closest friends and family, he realized one of my biggest dreams when he slipped a simple white band on the elegantly manicured finger of his best friend, the love of his life, and my new daughter-in-law.

This girl—young woman, actually—is everything I could have ever wanted for my son. Of course she’s beautiful, with glossy raven hair, dancing brown eyes and a figure most women my age would give their eye teeth to have again. She’s also kind, generous, soft-hearted and close enough to her own family to assure me that she has her priorities straight. Most importantly, when my son looks at her, he is filled with so much happiness, he glows. And she glows back.

But sometimes, to achieve your own goal, you have to muck with someone else’s.

They married in an enormous old church, one with aisles on either side of long, centered pews. The wedding planner, a woman with her own vision for the ceremony, insisted my son stand on the far right while the bridal party entered from the far left. Which meant he couldn’t see his bride come through the doors into the sanctuary. Alternatives and compromises were suggested and soundly rejected until the groom, in the interest of having “the perfect wedding,” agreed to stand where he was told and wait to see his bride once she cleared the final aisle. But some dreams cannot be denied, and, as soon as the Wedding March sounded, my son left his assigned spot by the minister and crossed the dais so he could watch the woman of his dreams walk down the aisle to him…a move that brought tears to every eye in the church. (Okay, so maybe the move clashed with the wedding planner's dream, but she went with the flow.)

Now that the happy couple is off on their honeymoon, I realize that my hopes and dreams require updating. List-maker that I am, I'm tempted to start another list. Or maybe, in the interest of being green, I’ll simply recycle the one I have for the next generation.

What dreams do you have for your children? For yourself? And how will you go about achieving their fulfillment?